Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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