this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
