That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
