It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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