The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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