Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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