Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
