we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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