So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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