I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
