been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
