I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
