"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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