That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
