Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
