I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
