Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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