id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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