quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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