is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
