remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
