I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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