he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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