just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
