im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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