Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
