how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
