im drinking this country out of the recession.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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