i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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