Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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