I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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