i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
