Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My liver just had a heart attack.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
