a search helicopter?!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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