The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
