He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize