you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize