I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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