I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
