my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
