My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
