I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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