I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i now understand why vodka
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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