Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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