Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
