He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
