I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
