it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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