Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.

  (207): View more from Maine

  sorry im really high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage. (207): sorry im really high http://tfl.nu/3k8n
  Replies (11) Good night (1095) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3
  Replies (17) Good night (1689) Bad night (3688)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0
  Replies (30) Good night (977) Bad night (4475)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6379) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Either way, he made a blog for his cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Either way, he made a blog for his cat. http://tfl.nu/y9xq
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/oe9a
  Replies (10) Good night (2970) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf http://tfl.nu/yf3n
  Replies (7) Good night (2902) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens. http://tfl.nu/q3si
  Replies (8) Good night (2129) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/9ddg
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (13) Good night (1557) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He yearns for your heart.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He needs to stop being a pussy about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He yearns for your heart. (678): He needs to stop being a pussy about it. http://tfl.nu/dh98
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony. http://tfl.nu/dln2
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.

  (510): View more from California

  I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween. (510): I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/39pv
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper. http://tfl.nu/3yr5
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter http://tfl.nu/jzj8
  Replies (2) Good night (362) Bad night (208)

Randomize