So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do herpes really smell.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.