thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
