Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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