Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear http://tfl.nu/jyif
  Replies (2) Good night (1836) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54
  Replies (9) Good night (4769) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere http://tfl.nu/lbp8
  Replies (13) Good night (5378) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha. http://tfl.nu/8fn5
  Replies (7) Good night (2166) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some. http://tfl.nu/oeo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2685) Bad night (1432)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2811) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex. http://tfl.nu/rz6s
  Replies (12) Good night (4150) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy http://tfl.nu/xazq
  Replies (18) Good night (8615) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock. http://tfl.nu/wrss
  Replies (14) Good night (3353) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain. http://tfl.nu/bmw5
  Replies (10) Good night (2023) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often http://tfl.nu/nvi7
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off http://tfl.nu/0o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (512) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1559) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class http://tfl.nu/ks3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (172)

Randomize