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Porn is love you can see.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
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