I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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