Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
