i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize