i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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