Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
