WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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