jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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